Dangerous Prayer

Today a dear friend brought to me some of her real concerns...the main focus of which, was the seeking out of my own needs before others. Or in other words: selfishness. This area of my life is soooo important - and I pray for grace and sanctification, that I may always put others needs before my own. I failed to see what was really going on in her heart - something I may have deduced if I had thought about it deeply, but genuinely missed it. I came across this verse tonight as I thought over the situation like film on a reel, over and over again and found it really helpful.

"Woe to the shepherds of Israel who only take care of themselves! Should not shepherds take care of the flock? You eat the curds, clothe yourselves with the wool and slaughter the choice animals, but you do not take care of the flock. You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost. You have ruled them harshly and brutally. So they were scattered because there was no shepherd, and when they were scattered they became food for all the wild animals. My sheep wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill. They were scattered over the whole earth, and no one searched or looked for them."

Ezekiel 34:2-6

Today I prayed a dangerous prayer ~
I asked for an increase of discipline in my life ~
I asked for a heart that cares firstly for my sisters and brothers ~
In full assurance that my own needs are safe in Your hands ~
Above my own foolish thoughts and my own foolish words ~
What I desire most deeply is to help bare the struggles of others ~
To be a place of comfort and light ~
For the ability to nurture as a mother does ~
Lord, increase your amazing grace in my heart ~
Teach and discipline my soul, that my humility might be great ~
And my ears and eyes opened to Your blessed Wisdom ~
Make me fearful of evil - like your servant Job ~
Whatever it takes to deepen my understanding of You ~
I desire and utterly need it ~
As my blood requires oxygen, my spirit requires humility before You ~
Oh, how my evil heart spawns thoughts of unjustification ~
Lord, correct my understanding - for it is wrong ~
All others before myself, decrease my self-concern ~
Increase my understanding and correct me ~
Please forgive my apathy towards Your Knowledge ~
And instill once again a fiery passion for Your Truth ~
Because it is Good ~
Discipline me, Oh, Lord ~
I give my reverence and awe to only You ~

Amen ~