Aim to Explain the Claim

Last Thursday night was interesting. I went out on the town (not to paint it red, mind you) in Hamilton – my first experience of the nightlife since moving to New Zealand. Good time, definitely had fun: lots of dancing and bright lights, haha! Two of the other American exchange students and I decided we didn’t need to stay out til’ 3 a.m., which is when the bars close and most people surrender their bottles to head home. We had already been downtown a couple of hours and it was midnight – so we walked back to the bus stop to see if the bus still ran that late. No, we found out to our dismay, it does not. Soooo, instead of using money on a cab – we figured we’d just walk – see how long of a stroll it is back to the Uni anyway (not that far actually, maybe 25 minutes – and hey, it’s summer time in New Zealand).

We walked by a big ole’ honkin’ church and then an interesting conversation happened between my new humorously (at least for me) awkward friend, James, and me:

Me: “Oh cool! Check it out – a church. I’ve been looking for one since we got here! I wonder what kind it is?”
James: “It’s looks like it’s a Catholic Church. Yup! That’s what the sign says.”
Me: “Ah, crap. So was the last one!”
James: “Y’know…I’m Catholic.”
Me: “You are?”
James: “Ya!”
Me: “Are you really Catholic?”
James: “Ya. I’m Catholic.”
Me: “Oh cool. Are you going to church on Sunday?”
James: “Well, I’m not practicing.”
Me: “So…you aren’t actually Catholic….”
James: “I grew up that way --- Catholic. What do you mean?”
Me: “I mean – do you actually believe…what Catholicism teaches – that there is universal truth?”
James: “Wha...wha…wait. What are you talking about?”
Me: “Catholicism. Universality. The word “Catholic” means “universal.” Catholics claim that truth is universal. Do you believe it is? Y’know, as opposed to everything being relative? Catholicism is opposed to relativity.”
James: “Well…I don’t know about all that stuff.”
Me: “Oh, ok. That’s okay. I definitely believe in universal truth, but we don’t have to talk about all this stuff if you don’t want. I totally don’t mind.”
James: “What are you?”
Me: “I’m Christian! I’m just not Catholic.”
James: “What’s the difference?”
Me: “Well, they both believe in Jesus as their savior – just lots of stuff. We can totally talk about it all sometime if you want. I love this stuff. I’ll be studying a lot about it this semester, but we don’t have to right now if you don’t want!”
James: “Ok.”
Me: “Ok.”
James: “I think we turn left here.”
(Other kid with us who has been in utter silence the whole time, to the left turn says, “cool.”)

My mental state since I have been here has been partial internal chuckle (for all the conversations like these) and partial broken-heartedness (for all the conversations like these). We, as the human-race, are so unaware of our own neglect for consistency in the very thinking that makes up our own basic belief systems.

God – I pray that you keep exposing us for all the abuse and hurt we cause you and one another by our own unwillingness to seek you. You are so good and so right and so pure and so…you. Your truth is brilliant and bright and I am just so thankful that I get to be a part of it.

Amen.

Life is worth $54 billion.

I have been in New Zealand now for 4 days. I have been discouraged by many of the Kiwis (not all of the Kiwis of course, but many…) loose moral policies and apparent lack of interest in universal truth. Perhaps this is why I am here – to better understand my faith and share it with others…

As you can imagine, I was quite excited when I came across a table of Americans at lunch today, all between the ages of 21 and 22. We got talking about simple conversational topics, such as “Where are you from?” and “What are you studying here in New Zealand?” and of course that was all fine and perhaps even necessary. We were laughing and talking about how much we all loved Disneyland.

One of the exchange students that was at the table was from Mexico and he had previously finished up an internship with Disney in Florida. He swears by Disney. Loves it, loves it, loves it. Said he had spent some of the most amazing days of his life working for the company.

He casually brought up a story about the characters in full costume (often times young adults play the characters like Mickey, Goofy, or Lilo and have to dress in full body costumes). He said they are NEVER allowed to take these costumes off in front of anyone, lest a child see that the characters are not real.

Apparently there was a young woman working for Disney not too long ago, who was dressed up in a full body Minnie Mouse costume. A park-goer accidentally pushed her somehow and she fell into one of the bodies of water they have around the park. She started to drown and could not move with the mask on, so she ripped it off in hopes of preserving her life.

To that I say, smart move girlie. Way to take action and save your life. Unfortunately a little kid saw her remove the head-piece and realized that Minnie Mouse wasn’t real. And to that – Disney said “You’re Fired” and charged her big fines. It doesn’t matter if your life was in danger they said to her. Because, see – Disney values their image over this girl’s life; their own employee; their fellow human being.

When Alejandro (the exchange student telling the story) finished – I looked at him and everyone around with my jaw dropped wide open and said “That is terrible! That girl’s life is way more valuable than Disney’s image.” And to my statement, my fellow, female American sitting next to me rolled her eyes at me (like I was the most naïve thing on the planet) and said “Ya right. No it’s not.” And y’know what? The 5 others students sitting with us didn’t disagree. As a matter of fact, they didn’t say anything. Not even the one with the gold crucifix strung about his neck. Their silence alone was worth a thousand words --- or a thousands deaths.

How could my fellow American put a price tag on that poor girl’s life, just like that? I don’t care how much Disney’s image is worth – human life, even if it is just one, is worth way more. That Utilitarianism ideology is crap. I don’t care how many little children were traumatized when they realized Minnie Mouse wasn’t real – their piece of mind, all added up and multiplied by ten million isn’t the equivalent of one human life.

Do you suppose if the girl who said human life isn’t worth as much as Disney’s image, were put in the place of that employee, that she would think the same way? Do you suppose that if it were HER life on the line that she would say, “Sure guys…go ahead and kill me…as long as the kids still think Minnie Mouse is real, the sacrifice of my life will totally be worth it. Go ahead, just shoot me right here, right now. No problem.” I don’t THINK so.

Same line of thought goes for all those human’s lives who have been taken away from this Earth before they have barely begun - through abortion. I can just hear that aborted baby in the womb saying, “Sure mom, go ahead and kill me now – I wouldn’t want to be a burden on your mind or your schedule. I’m ready, kill me now.”

My heart breaks.

New Zealand Seekers --- Where Are You?

Is there no one in New Zealand who is a good influence? I feel quite alone here currently, for I have met very few souls that share in the joy of knowing God. The population of people who seek truth must be quite small here. Every person I ask is not seeking to know God or even slightly interested in the notion as far as I can tell.

There was one boy who told me about his church, but it was far too distant for walking. Even the Christians on campus have their theology a bit off. I’m not sure how far off they are from the Truth; all I can tell is they definitely don’t have it pinpointed.

The moral code slacks in a number of ways. Pre-marital sex is taught everywhere. I was required to attend a long meeting today with 200 18-year-olds, centered around familiarizing yourself with sex, sexuality and your alcohol tolerance level.

At the end of the lecture, the woman leading it said, “It is ok to not experiment if you don’t want to.” But then she said, “I only say that because your parents pay me to.” And then she laughed, along with the rest of the group.

What is even more ironic to me is that the beginning of the lecture started with a quote from a bicentennial scholar that said something like (and I am stretching here to paraphrase) “Where is our youth heading? When I was young, we respected our elders. But today – the youth is impatient with obedience and lacks in knowledge and wisdom.” I just thought it quite odd to talk about youth as being ignorant and reckless and then to teach them about their sexuality out of a right and good context.

For the leaders of this country, I would suspect it a red flag that they have one of the highest rates of teen pregnancies as well as STD’s (especially Chlamydia). Can they not see that their sex-education is faulty? I think a big part of the problem is that they focus on it too much. I mean…a two-hour lecture. Really? Can they not see that the more they talk about it, the more these young adults get interested and want to experiment? Whereas American schools don’t teach sex-ed at all – New Zealand schools teach about it too much. I don’t know which one is worse. New Zealand, thus far, has proven to be a pleasure-seeking culture and not a God-seeking culture.

I am not so sure everyone buys into this backwards “pleasure first” teaching though: one of the girls sitting next to me told me that at least three of her good friends (who are no older than 18) have had abortions. I told her that truly broke my heart for her friends and their unborn children and she just looked at me and said, “I know. Me too.”

Abortions are actually part of the medical insurance plan here at the University of Waikato. Yes, you read that correctly – abortions here are FREE. Encouraged rather. Think of all those lives that will never see the light of day. Stripped of the chance to know the light here on earth.

I am truly crushed by everything that is surrounding me right now. But God gives me hope – and I pray that He can use me as a tool to reveal Himself to others as well as continue to reveal Himself to me. I pray all this in your name God. Bring your truth and your light to this culture. Expose the emptiness of these faulty teachings, my Lord. And use me all you want to do it – I could not be happier to serve you. I cannot wait to see what you have in mind…

Amen.

Take a Leap and Bow

I am constantly overwhelmed by all the love the people in my life are giving to me. It is…beautiful. Surreal in a way, yet more real and wholesome than anything else in the entire world. Not only am I receiving it day in and day out – God is helping me give it to people too! Freaking cool! You can tell when He is helping you love another person, because it shows up on their face. Their eyes get softer – because they are smiling – and that smile stays just a bit longer than it normally does.

I have learned over the past year that I am, in fact, the most emotional person I know and I think it is fantastic. God is providing me with a great humility in my heart (or rather, humbleness: it is a very good thing and not at all bad, as we have been taught to think about humility) and vulnerability like I have never witnessed before.

Without fail, each time a friend speaks truth to me through their love, the tears practically come shooting out of my eyeballs. It is seriously ridiculous! I actually prayed the other day that God would quit letting me cry like a baby at the drop of a pin. You know what He said? He said “NO.” He must quite love our vulnerability. It tends to bring us closer to Him.

Now, I have to admit two things. One being very Good and one being very bad. Let’s begin with the Good, shall we?

Ok, deep breath. On February 7th, 2009, which was a lovely and bitingly cold night, I told God that I was choosing Him…for good. That decision has no end and will forever change the path of my life. Thank the Lord!

What a beautiful moment to share with one of my best friends in the WHOLE world, Justine. We cried and laughed together, and then I cried some more and she laughed at me. That moment couldn’t have been better – even though I made her feel very awkward as I just stared at her and thought to myself, “Well crap, what do I do now?” Haha!

Ready for the bad news? Immediately after I said those words out loud to God I felt scared and confused. I was afraid that I had committed my life to a concept (Jesus) I didn’t fully understand. I walked around feeling bewildered for a couple days, not knowing what to do with myself.

But don’t worry – there’s good news again – and it is very good. I realized that the act of vocally dedicating my life to Him was not tying me down, but instead, it was lifting me up. I had just made the decision to live my life seeking, and inevitably learning (because what we seek whole-heartedly, we will find: Jeremiah 29:12-14) about what is Good, about God.

So what I’m saying is that when we sit in a place of doubt, we also choose to sit in a place of darkness. But when we choose to believe in God and His undeniable power (assuming that we have already sought and understood this to a certain degree), it follows that we choose to sit in a place of lightness – a place of love.

Bowing down to Jesus is not like bowing down to an earthly king. It is not enslaving, nor is it burdensome. It is like a deep breath. It is sweet as the sweetest honey and free as the freest bird. Corny, I know, but oh so good and true.

Not to say that it isn’t hard sometimes – it is. It is just not difficult in the sense that you might think. When you feel lost and broken…and it takes everything you have to seek God, to look up at Him and give your heart to Him…you do not come away empty inside.

Working hard for God (for love), when you feel crushed and alone, comes from a place that feels a little like drowning – except you do not struggle upward for oxygen, only to reach the surface and find you are stranded in the middle of the ocean. Oh no, it is much more than that. It is more like pushing through the water, despite your increasingly failing strength, and a powerful arm reaching down and pulling your weak body out in it’s entirety, onto a safe, warm boat. Just when you were about to give up and stop pushing, Jesus' great love pulled you out.

His strength and His will are greater than ours and for that, I am thankful.

Amen.

"I LOVE YOU." There - I said it. Happy now? Not quite.

I used to almost never say, “I love you.” The only times I would really utter the words were when

a) I knew it would somehow hurt the other person if I didn’t say it, because obviously…I didn’t want to feel guilty (and even then, I sometimes STILL didn’t),
b) when the “I love you” actually meant “thank you” for loving and caring for me, or
c) when I would say it at the end of casual conversation and didn’t really mean it.

Or in other words – when it was conditional.

Holy crap – how selfish is that? Real selfish. Selfish beyond human comprehension, actually. But I was ok with being selfish – because when you’re selfish, you don’t actually think that you are. You just think you deserve everything you want.

By the way, when you think like this…you’re a total moron. You’re also completely insane. You have no regard for the truth; you just want to feel good. This view on life, as I have lovingly come to realize, is thoroughly, wholly and insanely moronic.

It is extremely important to me to mean what I say (and was even important to me to some delusional extent when I used to think very selfishly). What are our words, if not meaningful? Truly worthless.

That is the reason I couldn’t utter those giant and beautiful words – because I didn’t understand love. I didn’t want to go around saying I loved people and things, when I fully knew I didn’t love them. See, this is the difference between then and now; then, I just didn’t give two craps about love and truth (which undeniably go hand-in-hand) and now, I desire to understand love and give it to others.

I’m very sorry to have to use “I” and “me” so often in this quick story. Although, it is a necessary evil to bring into the light just how confining, limiting, and more importantly, wrong it is to only think of oneself.

The point of all this ranting is to express the everlasting importance of love. Love for God. Love for others. Love for oneself. Love in the “choice” sense, not the “feeling” sense. Love is a choice to be consciously seeking, understanding and in turn, loving, the Good forever and ever.

The phrase “the truth will set you free” keeps running back and forth between my ears. The-truth…will-set-you-free. And when you are free – you also free up the chains you’ve placed on people around you. In light of this thought…who wouldn’t want to know the truth?

Bring it on God. Bring. It. On.

Amen.